Four
by Mediancat
Summary: An alternate ending to the battle with Adam . . . what happens when Buffy can't break the spell that merged she, Giles, Xander and Willow?


The Buffy characters belong to Joss. This story breaks off towards the end of "Primeval."  
  
  
  
*What happened? *  
  
*If I knew, I would tell you. *  
  
*Well, don't look at me. *  
  
*I wasn't, I assure you. *  
  
*Do you have any idea where we are? *  
  
*No. I assume neither of you do either? *  
  
*No. *  
  
*That's a big nope. *  
  
*How about what we were doing before we came here? *  
  
*Sorry, still no. *  
  
*Nope again. *  
  
*Do you know what year it is? Never mind, I can see from your face that the answer is still no. Damn. So what do we know? Anyone? *  
  
*You know, I don't even know my own name. *  
  
*Me neither. *  
  
*Nor me. *  
  
*But I do know I know both of you. *  
  
*Well, at least we're not starting completely from scratch. Anything else? Anything? *  
  
  
  
* * * * *  
  
RILEY  
  
I followed Buffy's trail to a part of the Initiative I'd never even known about, much less seen. I was tired, I was injured, but all I could think about was finding Buffy and making sure she's okay.  
  
I rounded a corner and found –  
  
Buffy and Adam, both lying on the floor of a room that looked like a cross between an old-style computer room and a waiting area. Bullet holes lined the walls and pierced the furniture.  
  
Afraid of what I might see, I ran up to their bodies. Adam had a large hole in his chest where his power supply was supposed to be, so he was either dead or wished he was. Buffy, though –  
  
Well, she was breathing, at least. But that was the only good thing. She also had this weird green glow in her eyes – and she wouldn't wake up. I yelled, I screamed, I dumped water, I even went so far as to slap her face. None of it worked.  
  
After a few minutes – with none of the chaos outside diminishing – I decided it would have to wait until later. I hefted Buffy over my shoulder. I'd never noticed it before, given her strength, but for such a strong woman, she was awfully small. Then I made my way back out – past Adam, past the twisted shells of what used to be Dr. Engelman and Professor Walsh, past poor Forrest, down a long and snaky hallway until finally I came to a door that wouldn't budge.  
  
Damn. I put Buffy down – gently – and set his shoulder to the door.  
  
It didn't move.  
  
I charged again, holding nothing back – and I felt a little, a LITTLE, give. There was something blocking the door!  
  
Once more, then, I rammed his shoulder into it and was rewarded with the sound of shelves crashing to the ground. I finally opened the door –  
  
Oh no. Dear God, please, no.  
  
Willow, Xander and Giles, lying on the floor.  
  
What was left of them.  
  
  
  
Part 2  
  
*Anything yet? *  
  
*Yeah, one kickass headache. *  
  
*If you'll look closely at my face you'll notice I'm not laughing. *  
  
*You think I was kidding? *  
  
*He's right. My head hurts too. *  
  
*As does mine. It's just that the comment was . . . unproductive. *  
  
*Then let's try not thinking about it. You know, like the old joke about wishes and white bears? *  
  
*I have no idea. *  
  
*The joke is that anything you wish will come true if only you can stand in the corner and not think of a white bear. *  
  
*I must say, I have heard funnier jokes. *  
  
*But do you get the idea? *  
  
*Yes. So what do you suggest we do in the meantime? I'm afraid I seem to have left my deck of cards in my other pants. *  
  
*Talk about stuff. Just stuff in general. *  
  
*So, um . . . what's your favorite movie? *  
  
* * * * *  
  
RILEY  
  
I don't know how long I would have stood there if Spike hadn't busted into the room, wrestling some furry thing that he quickly killed. He stood up with a big grin on his face –  
  
Which froze when he saw the carnage. "What the bleeding hell happened here?"  
  
I wasn't in the mood for twenty questions. "Something killed them. I don't know what."  
  
"Right then. Well, I'm off." As he headed for the door, I ran up and slammed him against the wall.  
  
"Look. Right now the only thing keeping me from ramming a stake through your heart is that I need you. So I'll tell you what. Why don't you go over there and pick up Willow's, Xander's and Giles' bodies – WITHOUT draining them – or I begin cutting off your body parts." I shut the door to cut off his escape; after I let him go he started to brush off his jacket.  
  
Spike thought for a moment. "Well, I HAD come in here to basically beg their help in getting clear of this joint. Dunno how much help you'll be in their place, especially if we're weighted down and all. But if you can guarantee you can get me out of here unharmed AND give me a nice head start, I'll see what I can do."  
  
Why not. Killing Spike wasn't on my top ten list of things to do at the moment anyway. "Deal." I walked over and gathered some pieces of parchment and a couple of burned-out candles that were lying next to the bodies of Buffy's friends – it looked like there'd been some kind of ritual here, and even if these three were permanently dead Buffy wasn't. Don't think I'm being insensitive here; I'm not. But I'm a soldier first and foremost even if I have deserted, and a soldier gets the job done first and breaks down later.  
  
"Mate – we have a bit of a problem here –" I turned and looked at Spike. Damn, he was right. He had Willow's body under one arm and Xander's under another – which left no one to carry Giles.  
  
Which meant I was going to have to. Once I made the surface there were people I could call. I slung Buffy over my shoulder and grabbed Giles by a leg. Then, Spike leading the way, we snuck back out the door and worked our way, covertly, to a back stairway to the surface.  
  
You didn't think on my way in I'd just strolled through the main section, did you? Adam's call had been irresistible but it hadn't changed me into a total moron. We ended up at the back end of campus, in a "locked" janitor's closet that only the Initiative had the keys for. Spike moved out of the way and I opened the door.  
  
And found myself face to face with Tara.  
  
  
  
Part 3  
  
  
  
*So, um, ice cream? *  
  
*I don't eat ice cream. *  
  
*Rocky Road? *  
  
*Give it up, man. This has been an utter and complete waste of our time. *  
  
*We just haven't been at it long enough, that's all. *  
  
*Yeah, G-Man, give it some time. We'll – what are you all looking at me for? *  
  
*What did you just say? *  
  
*Give it some time? *  
  
*No, no, before that. You called me "G-Man." *  
  
*Did I? *  
  
*Yes, yes! It's a nickname you use on him! *  
  
*I gotta say, pal, you look nothing like my concept of an FBI agent. *  
  
*No, no. It's not my profession that causes you to call me G-Man, it's . . . *  
  
*Yes? *  
  
*It's my name. *  
  
*Your name is G-Man? *  
  
*Quit being facetious. I meant that my name begins with the letter G. *  
  
*I knew that. *  
  
*So what's the name? *  
  
*I hate to say, but I don't know. *  
  
*George? Gregory? *  
  
*None of them sound right. *  
  
*Relax. It'll come. *  
  
*I do believe it will. So, favorite flavor of tea, anyone? *  
  
TARA  
  
I knew it had happened. Don't, don't ask me how, I can't tell you, really. But I could feel the spirit leave the body, knew when it was coming, knew I could trust the person bringing it.  
  
Did NOT know that Spike would actually be the one bearing her, no, also didn't know that Giles and Xander would also be there unliving, or Buffy there with that green glow to her eyes.  
  
I should have but I didn't.  
  
"Riley!" I said. "What, what, what happened to them?"  
  
"What does it look like?" Spike said. "They were ripped to bloody pieces and, no offense, I can't say I'm very sorry." Looking at Riley he said, "Well, mate, I brought them up for you, my part here's done."  
  
"The hell it is," Riley said. "Tara. You live in this dorm, right?" I nodded, gulping. "We can't keep them out in the hall. Would you mind?"  
  
I'd never intended anything else. "Of course not – of course."  
  
Grumbling, Spike picked up Xander's body and was about to pick up Willow's when I intervened. I concentrated and was able to make her body float. Never before were my motives so, so strong, my will so powerful.  
  
And I wasn't going to let Spike put his slimy hands on her again. Spike hefted Giles under the other arm and we snuck up the back stairway. Amazing, really, but no one popped out, no one walked into the hall. Must, must be some feature of Sunnydale, this willful blinding to the truth, but we made it to my room. Spike, of course, only went as far as the door. Carefully we laid Giles, Xander and Willow on the floor, on a sheet Riley pulled off my bed. Then Buffy went onto the bed, eyes still glowing. Much as I wanted to stay with Willow, I had to look at Buffy. She was the one who was, was still breathing.  
  
Spike harrumphed. "Can I go NOW?" The glow was magic. But what kind?  
  
"Yeah, fine, go," Riley said.  
  
"You could say thanks," Spike said, bending down.  
  
"No, I couldn't," was Riley's response. Oh, oh, oh! I knew what it was! Or at least I had some idea!  
  
"Right then." Spike walked off down the hall.  
  
Now, now you might be wondering why I'm not all weepy here. Why I'm not all broken up. I have a good reason. And honestly, I'm very anxious.  
  
"Anything?" Riley said.  
  
"Yes!" I said. And then I explained it to him. I had felt Willow's spirit leave her body –  
  
I had NOT felt her die.  
  
Part 4  
  
  
  
*Garrett? Geoffrey? Graham? What? *  
  
*Not Graham – but I've heard that name. Oh, keep going. *  
  
*Gavin? Geraldo? Gervase? Gulliver? *  
  
*Hold on. *  
  
*Gulliver? *  
  
*No. Giles. My name is Rupert Giles. *  
  
*Alright! Way to remember! *  
  
*And you're . . . Willow? *  
  
*YES. Willow Rosenberg. *  
  
*And me? What's my name? *  
  
*Xander! You're Xander Harris! *  
  
*Alright! We know our names. *  
  
*Now what else do we know? *  
  
*We're missing a name. *  
  
*Really? *  
  
*Three names, three people – did someone forget to tell you how to count? *  
  
*The sarcasm is not appreciated. *  
  
*I appreciate it. *  
  
*Xander, quiet. I can think of two names but I don't think either one of them is it. Oz and Tara. I'm connected to both of them. *  
  
*Oz -- short, skinny guy. Plays the guitar. Tara – blonde woman, magic- user, kinda like you from a few years back? And me – Cordelia. Anya. *  
  
*Cordelia, a tall bitch, sometimes our friend, Anya, a short bitch, sometimes our friend? *  
  
*I should resent that. *  
  
*And there, some of our shared history is returning. *  
  
*I think we always knew that. The one thing we knew when we popped in here is that we KNEW we knew each other. *  
  
*So what's that other name? *  
  
*Be patient, Xander. *  
  
  
  
RILEY  
  
"This, this glow, the one in Buffy's eyes. I recognize it – at least in general."  
  
"Really?" I asked. Tara seemed positively giddy.  
  
"Yes! Yes. It's a possession spell of some kind. I think – I think they're still in there. All of them. And I can bring them back."  
  
Okay. Time for some reality to settle in. "Tara," I said gently. "Look at their bodies. Even if their souls are intact –"  
  
"I, I can heal that. All I need is the right book and I can restore the bodies. Then if I know exactly what spell they used –"  
  
Was she serious? One look in her eyes removed any doubt. But was she capable?  
  
Riley barely knew Tara. He'd spoken to her maybe twice, and never at length. The only thing he knew about her that was relevant is that she was a witch.  
  
But was she that good?  
  
"Hold on a second," I said. "Can you do the healing spell with what you have at hand?" She answered me silently, by going over and examining a bookshelf covered in herbs, small bottles, and not a single book. Those were stacked on the floor.  
  
Apparently satisfied, she turned to me and said, "Yes."  
  
I was beginning to believe. Reaching into my back pocket, I pulled out a melted candle, and then checked the other one.  
  
Odd. I could have sworn I stuck some parchment back there . . . I looked around on the floor in case it fell out.  
  
As I opened the door to check the hall I noticed a few scraps on the ground. But no sign of the main scroll. "It must have fallen out of my pocket . . ." I noticed a sick look on Tara's face. "What?" I asked.  
  
"Spike," she said. "A few minutes ago I saw him picking something up out there."  
  
"I'll kill him," I said, and meant it. "He can't have gotten far. I'm going to get that spell back."  
  
"I, I need a second person for this healing spell," she said. "What do I do? I mean, if I don't get them healed it doesn't matter if you get me back the other ritual."  
  
"Call Anya," I said as I sprinted from the room.  
  
  
  
Part 5  
  
*We were in the middle of doing – SOMETHING – when we came here. I'm sure of it. *  
  
*People are forever in the middle of doing things, Xander. Whether sleeping, skydiving, or spellcasting . . . *  
  
*Well, I meant something IMPORTANT, not something routine. And trust me, I'm – what? *  
  
*Spellcasting, spellcasting . . . you're right, Xander, it WAS something important. We were in the middle of a spell. *  
  
*Now all we need to do is figure out which spell we cast, and then -- *  
  
*And then do what? In case you hadn't noticed, we're not exactly in a position to do anything about it, begin kinda disembodied and all. *  
  
*Because it's better than just waiting for . . . whatever's going to happen to happen. *  
  
*How do you know something's going to happen? Maybe this is it. We get to float around and yammer at each other 'til the end of time. *  
  
*I refuse to believe that. *  
  
*Why, Giles? *  
  
*Because God would not be so bloody sadistic as to trap me for eternity with you. *  
  
*Guys, snapping at each other isn't going to get us anywhere. Buffy needs -- *  
  
*What was that name? *  
  
*BUFFY! That's it! That's the fourth person, the one we couldn't remember. *  
  
*Excellent. But now that we know that, what next? *  
  
*We remember how this happened, G-Man. Buffy needs our help. *  
  
*How do you know? *  
  
*I know. *  
  
  
  
* * * * *  
  
ANYA  
  
  
  
How Tara got my number I have no idea. I didn't even think she knew my last name. (Some days I don't even know it myself – I'm choosing between Jenkins and Emerson, what do you think?)  
  
But when she called I stopped thinking all the frivolous thoughts I'd been thinking about sex and Xander and ran over. Xander . . . was dead?  
  
And all those other people too?  
  
But if I got over there fast enough maybe they wouldn't die.  
  
I ran across Sunnydale as fast as I'd ever gone anywhere. Faster even that that guy in New York I'd cursed with alternating constipation and diarrhea. But we don't need to get into that right now.  
  
I opened the door, stood there, and gaped. They – they –  
  
They looked like they'd been mauled by a Treller demon in a bad mood. "What happened?" I asked, turning my head away. Then I saw Buffy, lying there with the green glow in her eyes, and knew it had been something magical. "They worked a spell, didn't they?"  
  
"Yes, I mean – yes. I just don't know what. And, and it wasn't a spell that made them end up like that. Riley's out right now chasing down Spike – he, he took our only copy of the spell that made them end up like this, whatever it was."  
  
"How can we heal them if they're dead?" I said.  
  
"They're not," she said. "I, I felt Willow's spirit leave her body, but I didn't feel her die. Her spirit's around here somewhere – which should mean that, that Xander's is too. And Giles', But they can't get back in their bodies if their bodies are like this. So we need to fix them."  
  
"Healing magic doesn't work very well," I said. "I've seen men try for a thousand years. I think only that one man in Danzig cured himself of the leprosy I gave him, and not before his penis fell off." She was looking at me in stunned disbelief. "Right. Sorry. Still don't quite have that sense of the appropriate. But still, they're almost impossible to get right."  
  
"They, they would be," Tara said. "If that's what we were using. But since the bodies are dead, we can try to reconstruct them – we can use the same spell we'd use to restore a broken chair or, or, a busted mattress. All we're trying to do is restore the corpse to its pristine – what's that?"  
  
I looked over. Buffy's body was starting to jerk around. "Seizures," I said.  
  
  
  
Part 6  
  
  
  
*Don't stop now. We're getting somewhere. We were in some kind of installation. Underground, I believe. *  
  
*A bomb shelter? *  
  
*No. Bigger. A lot bigger. The size of the high school. And there were soldiers there. And demons, and monsters – and some big cyborgy guy."  
  
*Kinda like Frankenstein's monster designed by James Cameron, right? *  
  
*I remember. An artificial life form, made of people – and demons – and quite a large gun, if I recall. His name was . . . Adam! That's it. Adam. *  
  
*We were fighting him. All of us! *  
  
*No, Will. All of us weren't. Only Buffy was in the room. *  
  
*I'm fairly sure we were there -- *  
  
*You're both right. *  
  
*We can't be – wait, that spell! We were all helping Buffy! I, I lent her my magical ability! *  
  
*I lent her my knowledge. *  
  
*I gave her my heart. And is this starting to sound just a little too Wizard of Oz for you guys? *  
  
*Quiet, Xander. We lent her these things – but we were in another room -- *  
  
*That demon came in! Guys – we ARE dead! *  
  
*No. No, we're not. We couldn't have died. Not with the spell binding our spirits to Buffy – Good Lord. *  
  
*What is it? *  
  
*We're IN Buffy. *  
  
* * * * *  
  
SPIKE  
  
While I was slinging the corpses back to U-Sunnyhell I noticed a scroll of sorts. Since Captain America and the stuttering bitch were distracted I filched the damn thing. See, it seemed to me like maybe this was some kind of spell gone wrong. And to fix it – damn doubtful, those bodies were messed up – then maybe they'd be needing this scroll.  
  
And when soldier-boy came calling, well then, I'd be sitting pretty. I could name my own damn price to save those four – assuming he didn't kill me flat out and take it. Face it, with this chip in my head I'm about as good in a fight as Gary Coleman. Hell, the runt could probably take me.  
  
But that didn't mean I was bloody helpless. It did mean I had to make my plans fast, though; the mood Riley and the witch were in he was likely maybe ten minutes behind me at most. This didn't leave me a lot of time for gawking at the scenery. I had to figure out where to go, and I had to figure it out fast.  
  
I thought for a second about trying to bluff Finn out, quickly figured out he wouldn't buy it. He might not be the brightest bulb out there but trying to pass off the missing scroll as just a coincidence might stretch even his credulity a mite too far.  
  
And if I simply headed for the hills I'd never be able to ransom the stupid thing. Yeah, I'd have the satisfaction of knowing the Slayer and her friends were screwed, but I wouldn't actually get to sit back and watch the fireworks. And whether or not I decide to go for the gold or make the bitch squirm, I want to actually BE here when it happens.  
  
But now that I thought about it, why not just head back to the crypt? Odds were, Finn wouldn't come charging in shooting first and asking questions later; he wouldn't want to take the risk I'd stashed the scroll somewhere. None of this would stop him from trying to pound me, so I had to act quickly. I doubletimed it back to the crypt and got out one of my spare lighters as I ran. Good thing about cigarette lighters; it takes at least thirty seconds burning with one to even get a vamp smoldering. Dru tried it one time.  
  
God, I miss that girl. If she was here –  
  
Well, let's face it, Spike, if she was here, you wouldn't be, and all of this would be bloody moot. So let's not dwell on the past and concentrate on the present. And my odds of surviving it. I kept running back to the crypt.  
  
Somehow Finn had beaten me there.  
  
  
  
Part 7  
  
  
  
*We're IN Buffy? How did that happen? *  
  
*I'm only theorizing, but I think we couldn't die when our spirits were tied to Buffy. And since our bodies died -- *  
  
*We went to the only place our spirits could. Into Buffy. *  
  
*Exactly. *  
  
*Before we start patting ourselves on the back . . . if we HAD backs, I mean – I think the question is, now that we know this, what do we do? *  
  
*Try to get out, I suppose. *  
  
*And go where? My memory's still not completely there, but I'm fairly sure we were being ripped limb from limb. Our spirits aren't gonna do much good if they end up in mangled corpses. *  
  
*This is true. If depressing. *  
  
*I think the first thing we need to do is try to let someone know we're in here. I don't know how we'd do that – but we should. *  
  
*HELP! HELP! *  
  
*And what did you expect that to accomplish? *  
  
*It was worth a shot. *  
  
*I suppose it was. Perhaps if we pooled our resources -- *  
  
*Guys -- *  
  
*Yes? *  
  
*There's something else we need to figure out. There were four of us involved in that spell, right? *  
  
*Right. *  
  
*Then why aren't there four of us here? What happened to Buffy? *  
  
  
  
* * * * *  
  
TARA  
  
  
  
"Seizures?" I asked.  
  
"Yeah. Look." She stepped back and let me step in closer.  
  
Buffy's body was jerking around, but it wasn't like any seizure I'd ever seen before. First her arm would move; then her leg; then her mouth, as though she was trying to say something. I reached forward and felt for her pulse. It was there – but it was acting as strangely as the rest of her body. First it raced; then it slowed down. And her eyes still had the same unholy green glow.  
  
"What's going on?" Anya said.  
  
"I have no idea," I said. "Something to do with, with their spirits, probably – but I wouldn't want to just guess. We need that spell Riley's chasing after. All we can do now –"  
  
"Maybe we should sedate her," Anya said. "You know, with that stuff Willow used on Oz."  
  
"It could kill her," I said.  
  
"It could save her as well," Anya said. "And if she dies and Xander's in there with her, Xander dies too."  
  
I thought about it a second. "If, if we have to, if she looks like she's dying, maybe. Until then – if their spirits are in there – we need to be sure the bodies are ready. Help me with the restoration spell."  
  
It was gross and disgusting, but it had to be done if we wanted to save the people we loved. We moved their bodies into the center of the room – for just a second I thought that if someone came in, anyone, Anya and I were headed to jail for a very long time. "Okay," I said, fumbling for some powder. "Now, we need a circle around them." We needed to move some furniture as well. When Anya dropped her end of one of the beds I almost had a heart attack.  
  
"Sorry," she said. "I'm not used to this. And I'm just so – so – I mean, what if Xander –"  
  
"I understand," I said. "It's okay. We just don't need anyone coming in and finding us." Her eyes widened for a second; she hadn't figured that out for herself.  
  
We didn't have any problems completing the rest of the spell. And first Xander's body, then Willow's, and finally Giles', were restored.  
  
They didn't look like they'd been injured at all. Their bodies were completely undamaged.  
  
I looked over at Buffy. The jerkiness had gotten worse. Nervously, Anya said, "We have to sedate her. I'll go get the drugs."  
  
I held up my hand. "No. I think there's something else I can try." While I didn't have a large collection of spellbooks, I thought I had – yes, there it was. Honsenberg's Mental Practicum. Grabbing it, I flipped through to the section I needed. I'd had this book for years; it was one of the few I'd managed to hide from my father after my mother died. The spell I needed was more complex than any I'd done before – but not THAT much more complex.  
  
"What are you going to do?"  
  
"I'm going to try to figure out what's wrong," I said. "By, by going INSIDE Buffy's mind."  
  
  
  
Part 8  
  
  
  
*That is an EXCELLENT question. *  
  
*So . . . no excellent answer? *  
  
*Not at the moment, no. *  
  
*How about a semi-useless answer? *  
  
*No; I leave those entirely in your hands. *  
  
*Funny. *  
  
*Do we really think this is the best time to be trading witticisms? *  
  
*Quite right, Willow. My apologies. In any event – I believe we were going to try shouting in unison. *  
  
*MY idea, I think -- *  
  
*XANDER -- *  
  
*If there are no more objections – or witticisms – I believe we should begin. *  
  
*Hold it – what are we going to shout? *  
  
*I think HELP works nicely, how about you? *  
  
*Makes sense. *  
  
*Right then. On the count of three, one, two, three . . . *  
  
*** HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! ***  
  
*Well, damn. It doesn't look like -- *  
  
[You don't have to shout. I'm here.]  
  
*Buffy? *  
  
*That's not Buffy. That's Tara. *  
  
*Is that you, Tara? *  
  
[Yes. Where's Buffy?]  
  
*You mean you don't know? *  
  
[We know what happened to her body. She's – she's lying here on the bed in my room, with seizures and a green glow to her eyes. As for you -- ]  
  
*Dead and mangled? *  
  
[Dead and formerly mangled. Anya and I did a reconstruction spell. Oh! What spell did you use? *  
  
*It was a spell designed to give my magic, Giles' brains and Xander's heart to Buffy. We think when that demon killed us -- *  
  
[Your spirits ended up here. I thought the same thing. But I need to know as much about the spell as you can tell me.]  
  
*It was quite a complex spell. Why not use the scroll I wrote everything down on? *  
  
[Spike stole it. Riley's out trying to track him down.]  
  
*I hope he kills the son of a bitch. *  
  
*I quite concur. *  
  
[Guys – not to rush you – but I need as many details as you can give me, in case Riley can't get the scroll back --]  
  
*Alright. Well, to begin -- *  
  
  
  
* * * * *  
  
RILEY  
  
I knew where he was going to go. This was Spike, after all; Buffy'd told me all about his habits, his haunts, and so on. He was smart, but not quite as smart as he thought he was.  
  
See from all I could tell Spike prided himself on his unpredictability but (like most of us) he liked returning to familiar places. I figured he'd head for the crypt almost on instinct, and I was right.  
  
So I didn't bother trying to track him; I simply headed for the crypt as fast as I could. As it was, I beat him by maybe ten seconds, though I faked like I'd been waiting longer to throw him off.  
  
"Give me the scroll, Spike."  
  
"Stick it in your ear."  
  
"Don't act so tough," I said. "Right now you'd have trouble fighting off a housecat."  
  
"That's as may be, mate," he said, yanking out the scroll. "But right now I've got this and you want it and—" he pulled out a lighter faster than I could get to him – "I'm kind of torn, actually. If I burn this, the Slayer's screwed and she might die."  
  
"You'll beat her there," I said.  
  
"Right. Which is why I'm liking my other option more. Which is, you give me a lot of money and a guarantee of safe passage out of Sunnyhell and I DON'T burn it."  
  
"I make my odds at pounding you before you can light it up about fifty- fifty."  
  
"Wanna take those odds?" Spike said, flicking the lighter semi-carelessly. "It's only the Slayer's life we're talking about."  
  
And, dammit, I couldn't. Problem was, Spike was as trustworthy as Pinocchio.  
  
"Okay then," I said. "You'll get all the money we have available – me, Tara AND Anya. And you get to leave town in one piece. But you're coming with me so I can keep an eye on that scroll."  
  
"No problem, mate. I got a dog in this fight myself."  
  
  
  
Part 9  
  
  
  
[That's what you have?]  
  
*Hey. Considering we're doing this entirely from memory I'd think you'd appreciate our efforts. *  
  
*This is hardly the time to allow for bruised feelings, Xander. The more we can give, the more Tara has to work with. *  
  
*I know. I've just been racking my brains for what seems like forever and I can't come up with anything else. *  
  
[There are gaps. I know pretty much what was done but I'm not completely sure how you did it.]  
  
*We were in a hurry – Adam's plan was pretty close to being done. *  
  
[I just want to be sure I get it right. If I get it wrong – or it doesn't work –0  
  
*We could die. *  
  
[You three, and Buffy. I have no idea what's causing the seizures.]  
  
*I may have some idea. The spell was designed to be temporary – and to only take our aspects. Having four independent, full spirits inside Buffy must be causing her tremendous strain. *  
  
*Which means that whatever Tara does, she'd better do it fast? *  
  
*Precisely. *  
  
[I'd still like to try to locate Buffy while I'm in here.]  
  
*Understandable. Unfortunately, we don't know where she is either. *  
  
*Hold it. I have an idea. I think. *  
  
*You think? *  
  
*Well, I'm not used to it. Anyway, Giles, you said we're inside Buffy, right? *  
  
*Right. *  
  
*Well then – maybe that's literal. Tara, maybe you came in too far to see Buffy. Like you got a high-powered microscope when all you needed was a magnifying glass. *  
  
[So . . . your advice is to pull back?]  
  
*Yup. *  
  
*That may very well work. *  
  
[Good. Then, I have to get going. Hope to see you soon.]  
  
*Bye, Tara. *  
  
[Goodbye.]  
  
*And now she's gone. *  
  
*You think what she's doing is going to work? *  
  
*I haven't the foggiest. I certainly hope it does, though. *  
  
*Well, THAT'S comforting. *  
  
* * * * *  
  
TARA  
  
  
  
On my way in to Buffy's mind I'd passed through an area where I was hearing a loud noise. (Bear in mind that these are analogies; I was "hearing" a "loud noise" when I "passed through" an "area." But all those quotation marks would get very annoying.)  
  
I hadn't even thought about what I was listening to, but now I went back and tried again.  
  
It was a voice, yelling. I pulled out just a little until the sound diminished to a point where I didn't feel like my virtual eardrums were going to break and I recognized it as Buffy's voice.  
  
Of course.  
  
[BUFFY!] I yelled. [BUFFY! CAN YOU HEAR ME?]  
  
The screaming stopped and a voice said, *Yeah, I can hear you. You don't have to shout. What the hell happened? * It was a relief just to hear her say anything coherently. I'd been afraid, when I couldn't find her in there with Willow and Xander and Giles, that their presence meant Buffy's . . . absence. Thank God that wasn't the case.  
  
I explained it to her as best I could. *So Giles and Willow and Xander . . . are inside me? *  
  
[They had nowhere else to go.]  
  
*Okay then. What can I do? *  
  
I hadn't expected that. [You're caught in here. I don't know if there's anything you can do.]  
  
*I have to do SOMETHING. You said I'm having seizures. *  
  
[Yeah. I don't know why yet. I mean, I know it has something to do with Willow and Xander and Giles being here --]  
  
*Maybe it's them trying to get out. *  
  
That was a thought. Still – [They're not. I just talked to them --]  
  
I felt a kind of bitter laugh. *They're not doing it on purpose. Still, we got four souls in one body. I'm thinking maybe the body wasn't built to hold that many. I'll see what I can do about it from in here and you see what you can do about it out there. *  
  
[We'll do what we can.] With what I had I'd say I had at best a one in three chance of saving them, though of course I hadn't told them that. One in three was better than the zero I'd had going in.  
  
*I know. And one more thing -- *  
  
[Yes?]  
  
*When you see Spike next, tell him I'm going to kill him when I wake up. *  
  
[Okay.]  
  
And then I pulled back out. The seizures had diminished somewhat. Anya was looking at me impatiently. "How, how long was I in there?"  
  
"Five minutes."  
  
"Okay." I went to the shelf and grabbed another book. "I'm going to do what I can to, to study up. Keep an eye on them, okay?"  
  
Impatiently, she agreed. Then I started reading.  
  
  
  
Part 10  
  
  
  
*So now that we know that, what do we do? *  
  
*Nothing. *  
  
*So our lives are on the line and you're suggesting we just sit around on our asses – if we had them? *  
  
*That is exactly what I'm suggesting. All of this mental thrashing around may be what's causing Buffy's seizures. *  
  
*Actually, I don't think that has anything to do with it. *  
  
*Buffy! Good to see – well, you know what I mean.*  
  
*Yup, I do, Will. Good to, um, see you guys too. Turns out you were right, Xander – you guys were smaller than I was, since you're in me. I was thinking maybe it was that you were IN me that's causing the problem. *  
  
*And so you decided to get smaller? *  
  
*I thought maybe if we were four sharing one rather than three inside one, maybe it would help Tara and Anya and all of them until we got to our own separate bodies. *  
  
*You do realize there's a chance that Tara will fail. *  
  
*Yeah, but we can burn that bridge when we come to it. So why didn't you guys try to get my attention? *  
  
*We did, Buff. We made with the 'help help' until we were out of breath. *  
  
*Is THAT was that was? I felt something but it was like a gnat bite. *  
  
*I guess you were just too big to hear us. *  
  
*Something like that. So, is there anything else we can do? *  
  
*Well, G-Man here was just suggesting we 'cease thrashing about mentally.' So I'm guessing he wants us all to shut up. *  
  
*Not necessarily, now that Buffy's our mental size. It's just that – after we provided Tara with the information – I don't believe there's anything else we CAN do at the moment. Our souls are powerless without a body to control – and right now we only have the one and it's, well, not behaving very well. *  
  
*So we sit here and wait? *  
  
*And pray, if you like. *  
  
* * * * *  
  
ANYA  
  
  
  
I had nothing else to do, so I moved Xander and Willow and Giles so it looked like they'd just passed out on the bed. If anyone came in I'd say they were so drunk they passed out.  
  
Then I just sat there and waited for a while. In my thousand years or so I'd never actually seen this spell before – at least not where I hadn't been the one to institute it. Once in 1890 in Buenos Aires, a woman had wished her husband could know what it was like to be her for a few days.  
  
Bear in mind that Argentina still isn't the most enlightened place for women even today, and you'll see how it was for the woman back then. After the wish ended they actually had a long and happy marriage. Not the usual way vengeance worked itself out, but my job was done.  
  
Still, that had nothing to do with what was going on now. I went over to Tara's bookcase – she only had a couple of dozen spell books – but I picked the one that seemed the most likely and started reading through it.  
  
How do people deal with this? This, this not knowing what to do? Xander was dead but he could come back but there wasn't anything I could do about it. And Tara apparently was someone who dealt with tragedies the way she dealt with everything else and besides she thought this could all be handled and I –  
  
I wasn't so sure. I'd tried to be calm and collected for a while and while I was doing things I could NOT be upset, but now I didn't have anything I could do and there was nothing else to think of but that Xander might die.  
  
I didn't want him to die. I loved him.  
  
Oh, I didn't want Willow and Giles to die either – but I'd trade them for him. Isn't that love? You'd do anything for the people you loved?  
  
Suddenly I found I couldn't see the pages of the book.  
  
Tara looked up. "What's wrong?"  
  
"My eyes. They're all watery. I think I'm crying."  
  
She came over and hugged me. "I'm sorry," she said once the embrace broke, "I've, I've dealt with stuff like this before. You haven't. For a thousand years anyway."  
  
"Thanks," I said.  
  
"Are you feeling better?"  
  
"No. But I think I can handle it now."  
  
"Good. And, um, there's nothing in that book that would help." She gently closes it and handed me another one. "Try this one instead."  
  
I'd been reading for five minutes when Riley came in.  
  
Followed by Spike.  
  
  
  
Part 11  
  
  
  
*What do you suppose is going on out there? *  
  
*No clue. *  
  
*It's your body, Buffy – why don't you try to wake up? *  
  
*I haven't been trying to do anything else since – well, since. No go. *  
  
*And if we happened to wake up now – the consequences might be devastating to Buffy's psyche. Or our own. *  
  
*So we wait. *  
  
*We wait. *  
  
  
  
SPIKE  
  
  
  
No, I'm not sure why I kept my word and followed Finn back either, instead of just peeling off and running like hell. Partly it was the cash, partly I wanted to make the bastards squirm.  
  
Now, really, is that wrong? Didn't bloody think so.  
  
I did get a bit of a shock when I walked in and saw the three corpses I'd helped Captain America lug back here now more or less intact. Obviously I'd seriously underestimated the blonde's power; Giles in particular had been rather severely mauled.  
  
I began to breathe a little easier – figuratively speaking, of course – when I noticed that the bodies in question were a lot less animated than anyone around here except me would have preferred. It hit me that if I decided to go out into the hall and scream to the high heavens for a security guard I could get everyone in a lot of trouble.  
  
Main reason I DIDN'T do that was because I'd likely be one of the someones who got into trouble, and I didn't fancy a guided tour of the dingier depths of the Sunnydale Police Department. Sure, I could've shouldered my way past them, but I also wasn't overly interested in either the headaches or in picking the bullets out of my shoulder.  
  
So here I was. If I didn't like it, I'd rip it up and run for my life. No one was getting between me and the door.  
  
"Shut the door, Spike," Finn said.  
  
"Not on your life," I said. "I want an avenue of escape in case you blokes decide to get creative."  
  
Tara said, "You, you WANT someone to walk past and see the bodies?"  
  
"Well, now, that just means you'd better get all of this done before anyone does decide to take a gander, then, doesn't it? Okay. Cough up your money."  
  
"What?" Anya and Tara both looked at Finn.  
  
Finn sighed. "Spike said he won't give us back the scroll unless we pay him."  
  
"Which is why," I said, "I'm holding my lighter. You know parchment. One spark and pfft! There goes your chance of saving your friends."  
  
"It's three against one," Anya said. "I say we rush him."  
  
I flicked the lighter on and moved it closer.  
  
"You know if you do that I'll kill you," Anya said. And the ex-demon sounded quite serious.  
  
Still – "You'd have to catch me first, love," I said. "And I don't think you can do it."  
  
"I can do it," she vowed.  
  
"Right. Anyway, the cash?"  
  
"It's, it's not like I carry thousands of dollars on me," Tara said.  
  
"I noticed an ATM machine in one of my early forays onto this lovely campus," I said. "Go withdraw the maximum. I'll wait."  
  
"I'm not going anywhere," Anya said. "You might decide to molest them while they're asleep."  
  
Finn sighed. "Come on, Tara," he said. "It's a short walk."  
  
"And in case you get any ideas about getting one of those taser rifles you soldier boys are so fond of, remember, electricity burns paper."  
  
"Hadn't even thought about it," Finn said in a tone that showed he hadn't but wished he had.  
  
"I don't get why they're trusting you," Anya said once they left.  
  
"They're not," I said. "It's more as though they don't have a choice. And you're still here."  
  
She shook her head. "No. You're still going to screw us over. I don't know how, but you will."  
  
She was right, of course.  
  
  
  
Part 12  
  
*It just gets frustrating, you know? This sitting around not being able to do anything. I'm not used to it. *  
  
*None of us are, Xander. *  
  
* * * * *  
  
RILEY  
  
Damn. I wished I'd thought of what Spike had said.  
  
Of course, the odds on me getting a spare taser at this point were right around the odds of Spike sprouting wings and flying to the moon. The Initiative was right now in the process of destroying itself. I hoped like hell some of my comrades would make it out of there alive.  
  
I knew there was a self-destruct switch there somewhere – carefully primed to blow the hell out of the interior of the place but to do only minimal damage to the college and the surrounding area. I fully expected to hear it sometime soon.  
  
But while that was a worry it wasn't my major one. I wasn't fool enough to trust Spike; I was doing this because I had no choice.  
  
Of course, if I RAN across a taser at this point I'd take it with me.  
  
And if no tasers –  
  
"Do you know any spells that would mimic a taser's effect?" I asked Tara as we got to the ATM.  
  
She shook her head no, and explained as she got the money, "I don't have that kind of power available. I can, can do some telekinesis, and I know a dust spell, and a few others – but if, if you're thinking of having me try to take down Spike, I don't think I can do it – at least not fast enough to stop him from burning the scroll. I'd hoped we wouldn't need the scroll but –"  
  
"Yeah?" I asked.  
  
"Well, I used a mind-entering spell to see if I could help Buffy – while you were gone she started having seizures, but they seem to have died down a bit – and, and Giles and Willow and Xander told me as much as they could about the spell. It, it was a lot but it looks like I AM going to need the scroll to be absolutely sure I know what I'm doing."  
  
"And if Spike gets funky?" Tara'd withdrawn three hundred dollars and I walked up to the machine.  
  
"Oh," she said as I took out my two hundred, "I, I have a shot, yeah, but it's not as good of one."  
  
"Because I was thinking of just decking him when we got back and taking our chances."  
  
"I'd say no," Tara said. "That's assuming I have a say in this."  
  
"You do," I said. "Just be ready. Whatever you can throw at Spike, be ready. He's got something up his sleeve."  
  
"Understood," she said.  
  
The short walk back passed quietly. I supposed Tara was trying to think up some spell, that dust spell if nothing else; God knew I was weighing the various options in my mind.  
  
We walked in – Spike stepped to one side and held the flame way too close for my liking – and he said, "Got the cash?" On the bed, Buffy was twitching. Tara went over and nervously began to examine her.  
  
"$500, plus . . . Anya?"  
  
She grumbled but got $47 out of her purse. I put the money on the floor and moved back. When Spike pocketed it, I said, "I'm surprised you didn't hold out for more."  
  
"Can't get blood from turnips, mate," he said cheerfully. "Tried once. Tasted horrible."  
  
"Spike –" I said irritably.  
  
The vampire chuckled and put away the lighter. "Right. In exchange for safe passage out of town and this cash –" he patted his pocket – "I promised not to burn this scroll here." He opened the door behind him and I tensed. "You'll hold to your word?"  
  
"I will," I said.  
  
"Good." Then he ripped the scroll into pieces. "Never promised not to tear it up, though," he said as he ran off down the hall.  
  
I swore and began to chase him. If Spike thought that legalism would stop me from kicking his bloodsucking ass --  
  
"No!" Tara yelled. "Look at her." I turned. Buffy was starting to twitch even more uncontrollably. "Spike can, can wait. We need to do what we can now."  
  
I grimaced. "Are you sure?"  
  
"I'm sure," she said.  
  
DAMN Spike. I looked at her and said, "What do you need me to do?"  
  
  
  
Part 13  
  
  
  
*What's happening? *  
  
*If I knew, I'd tell you. *  
  
*Giles, that answer got old – well, I don't know how long ago. But it's old. *  
  
*Would you prefer I lied and told you I knew exactly what was going on? *  
  
*YES! *  
  
*Let's think about it for a minute. *  
  
*We may not have the time. The shaking is becoming quite severe. *  
  
*Damn it, we need to DO something. And not pray, either. *  
  
*Then WHAT, Xander? What in the bloody hell would you have us do? *  
  
*SURVIVE, goddammit. *  
  
*How? We've attempted action; we've attempted inaction, I don't know what else to try. *  
  
*I know one thing. *  
  
*What's that, Buffy? *  
  
*However we survive, we're going to do it together. It's the only thing that's worked in the past. Right? *  
  
*Right. Together. *  
  
*Together. *  
  
*Together. *  
  
*Together. *  
  
  
  
* * * * *  
  
TARA  
  
"We have to get them apart," I said.  
  
"Huh?" Riley said.  
  
"She means into their own bodies." Anya was looking at the door with a death-glare; if Spike had been in the room she would have burned him up by stare alone. Riley was also stealing glances that way. I couldn't blame them, but killing Spike (while also on my to-do list) wasn't the most important thing we needed to be doing right then. Anya  
  
"If they stay together much longer –" I didn't finish the sentence. I couldn't. Riley had his professionalism to keep him going; Anya had her rage. I had neither. I was running on sheer momentum. Taking a breath, I repeated, "If, if they stay together much longer I don't know what's going to happen. But it looks like she's dying. And if she dies –"  
  
"They all die." Riley stopped looking at the door and immediately became all business. "I thought the seizures were gone."  
  
"They came back," I said. "I don't know why. Now be quiet for a minute. I need to think." After a second, I told Anya a list of ingredients to collect. I got a deck of cards – ordinary cards, I'm not a tarot person, they'd have to do – and we arranged the four bodies in a circle.  
  
Standing over them, we reversed the ritual as best we could. We didn't have four casters, unfortunately.  
  
But we did the best we could.  
  
* * * * *  
  
*Now what? *  
  
*The shaking's gotten worse. When we get out of this no earthquake's ever going to scare me again. *  
  
*It's not shaking. Or not JUST shaking. Look. *  
  
*What the -- *  
  
*It appears to be some kind of vortex. *  
  
*To some kind of hell dimension, I'm betting. Well, no thanks. *  
  
*For once we quite concur. *  
  
*YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO DO BETTER THAN THAT! *  
  
* * * * *  
  
ANYA  
  
"Anything?" Tara asked.  
  
"No," I said. "Nothing. And the shaking – it's gotten worse."  
  
Buffy was shaking so bad you'd have thought she was epileptic.  
  
"Go back in there!" Riley said. "Tell them what's going on!"  
  
"No," Tara said. "We're going to have to try again, harder."  
  
And so we cast the spell again.  
  
I didn't want to lose Xander.  
  
Or any of the rest of them. They were okay too.  
  
* * * * *  
  
*If anything it's gotten worse. *Indeed, quite. *So we're in agreement then. We don't want to go to hell. *Maybe – maybe it's Tara. You know? Maybe that's the spell calling us back. *You wanna take the risk, go right ahead. I'm not stopping you. *Um – no. *I didn't think so. *I wish they'd come in and told us what they were doing. *Maybe they didn't have time. *WORSE! It's getting worse! *Remember, together. *Together. *Together. *Together. *TOGETHER. *  
  
* * * * *  
  
RILEY  
  
"They're resisting," Tara said forlornly. "Why are they resisting?"  
  
"I wish I knew." Damn. I was going to find Spike and run him through a meat grinder.  
  
"Shh." Anya said. "Buffy's saying something."  
  
We leaned forward and listened in. It started in a whisper and built up.  
  
"I didn't think so. I wish they'd come in and told us what they were doing. Maybe they didn't have time. Worse. It's getting worse. Remember, together. Together. Together. Together. TOGETHER!"  
  
The last 'together' was screamed, almost at the top of Buffy's lungs. Suddenly she sat bolt upright in bed and looked at me.  
  
Her eyes were still glowing green as she said, in a voice not quite her own, "Together."  
  
  
  
Part 14  
  
  
  
WE  
  
  
  
We sat up. Looking around at the room We saw Anya, Riley, Tara, and three bodies.  
  
Three bodies We used to belong to.  
  
"Buffy?" Riley said.  
  
We shook our head. "No."  
  
"W-Willow?" Tara asked nervously.  
  
Instinctively, We reached out and clutched her hand, gave it a squeeze. "No."  
  
"Xander?" Anya snapped.  
  
"Not Xander – and before you ask, not Giles either."  
  
Tara immediately straightened up, held out a cross, and said, "Foul demon, return to whichever hell you came from . . ."  
  
We laughed. "We're not a demon."  
  
"Then who the hell are you?" Anya said.  
  
"Was that –" We asked. "Was that vortex we saw part of your spell to restore everyone to their original bodies?"  
  
"Yeah," Tara said.  
  
"We thought so. Wish you'd told us this earlier."  
  
"Okay, enough of this," Anya said. "Who the hell are you? Queen Elizabeth?"  
  
"We resisted your spell," We said. "We thought it was there to send us to a hell dimension – or to death. And, you know what? We really didn't want to die."  
  
"So in resisting . . . you merged," Tara said.  
  
"It certainly does seem that way," We said. Then we stood up. Experimentally, We said a word . . . and witchfire appeared in our hand. Another word, and it vanished. We tried some Slayer moves. They also worked. "Cool."  
  
"Cool?" Anya said. "This is NOT cool." She came over and grabbed me by the shoulders. "Bring Xander back! NOW!"  
  
"Easy, An," We said. "It's okay. We still like you."  
  
"You realize this, this can't be permanent," Tara said. "We need – we need to fix this."  
  
We sighed. We liked our current condition, but dammit, they were right. "Then let's get cracking. But first–"  
  
"Yes?" Riley asked.  
  
"Well, you know what they say. Friends help you move –"  
  
And Tara finished it up, "Real friends help you move bodies."  
  
* * * * *  
  
Now, really, they were better off out of the dorm. Joyce wasn't particularly thrilled at having them in her house, but there wouldn't be a reason for anyone to run across them there. And the reconstruction spell Tara had come up with would keep them fresh for weeks.  
  
While Tara and Anya researched, We went out patrolling with Riley. Yeah, Adam had been defeated – thank the gods, a lot of the soldiers had gotten out before the Initiative had self-destructed, but so had a few of the demons.  
  
Xander's parents didn't seem to give a good goddamn that he was missing. Willow's mother, We think, hardly noticed. The woman took Clueless to levels Alicia Silverstone would have been quite envious of.  
  
And every night when We came home Tara had a whole new spell. Anya, though, got more and more restless and eventually took off. She left a rather cryptic note. It simply read, "I've decided to get back into vengeance."  
  
And unfortunately, Anya was right. This put Tara into a deep funk, but with effort We managed to coax her out of it. She'd been handed an almost impossible situation and had done the best she could. It had hardly been her fault that things had ended up like this.  
  
Xander, Giles and Willow were eventually listed among the missing of Sunnydale – to be looked for perfunctorily and then written off, no doubt. We buried their bodies privately and we held a private ceremony – me, Joyce, Riley, Tara, and Angel, Cordelia and Wesley down from Los Angeles. They were also let in on our secret.  
  
It was an odd situation for Riley and Tara – if by odd you mean "king freakishly bizarre." But they persevered. We loved them both. We weren't sure how We felt about Anya until – but more on that in a second.  
  
There were a few interesting things We noticed about ourselves along the way. One thing was that our blending was complete. We were a meld of Buffy's, Willow's, Giles' and Xander's personalities and abilities. This made us hard to beat in a fight. We rather suspect We could have taken down the Incredible Hulk – that is, if the Hulk ever slummed and dropped by Sunnydale. But bearing in mind this is the town with vampires, praying mantis women, puppets that have come to life and demons aplenty, We're not entirely ruling it out.  
  
Another thing was our sexuality. We had suddenly become rather decisively bisexual, with a leaning towards women. Because while Buffy had been a straight female, Willow had been bi strongly preferring her own gender, while Giles and Xander had been full-on straight guys – preferring women.  
  
This was harder for Riley and Tara to deal with. But they adjusted there as well. And if We heard rumors, We honestly didn't care.  
  
And finally, as for Anya: We never saw her again. But We decided We loved her anyway when We got a picture from her in the mail.  
  
She was smoking a cigarette and wearing a long black leather duster. 


End file.
